Today I had to catch the 7am train. I pulled into my parking spot at 6:59. I understand it was my fault I was running late. Before I could hop on the train I had to pay for parking. So I went down the pay station. Two were available and there was only one person in front of me at each. Both apparently unfamiliar with computers and how to slide a credit card. The train was sitting impatiently on the other side of the tracks. I knew it could take off any moment… I wanted to scream “Don’t you know I’m in a hurry?”, but discretion won out and I waited patiently while they each started a second cumbersome transaction. Finally, one completed his transaction and headed toward the train. With the lightning speed that I imagined I moved, I began to tap the buttons and pay for my parking. Upon completion I headed quickly toward the train only to find a bottle neck of people waiting for the train gate to stop blinking and lift.
I made the train. And I realized that it felt like much ado about nothing… But the whole event was quite a moment for observation of my monkey mind and my ego. My ego highlighted that I was the most important actor in this drama unfolding. Meanwhile my monkey mind was agitated and creating the drama which I then saw unfold. Looking back through the morning I can see the chain of events and decisions that lead to my arrival at the station at 6:59. I could see the interactions that each chained into the next causing my time line to occur at exactly that speed at which it did, no more, no less.
It is a powerful reminder of the way our minds work. These events could have lead me to feeling like a victom. I could have approached this with a “Why does this always happen to me attitude”. I could have approached it as a cornered warrior, lashing out at those perceived threats that were holding me back from victory over adversity.
Gratefully, I approached it, at least externally, with a calm, but eager resolve to achieve my goal. I have no traffic laws broken and no assault charges levied against me (as there were not assaults, verbal or otherwise). I have a moment for reflection instead of regret.
I am also pleased to report that the world would have kept rolling forward had I missed my train. But I am grateful that I didn’t.
Namaste,
Kevin
